Hausfrau Speaks-Arias Diary -Before Murder

Before the Killing 

Thurs. May 22, 2008

Today has been a day of good news and sadness. Good news: my phone arrived! And not a moment too soon. Sad news: I finally had “the conversation” with Travis and it did not go well. I sort of put it to him already in an e-mail I sent a few days ago and he didn’t like that either, not nor did he take the hint. So I realized I had to be a little bit more direct. I told him that of course I’m looking for[ward] to his impending visit, that I can’t wait to check more things off the list (from 1,000 places), but that we probably would be better off in all ways if we were not physical.

He got offended and upset, then acted distant. I tried being so sweet and speak kindly to him, playing up all of the advantages of not violating the law of chastity, and he didn’t want to hear any of it. He said he already knows all that. Then it got worse, he asked me who I’m seeing, have I been getting my kicks with someone else, etc. Of course I swore that I wasn’t (which is true) but also pointed out that even if I was, then that’s my right. I also pointed out that I didn’t freak out when he confessed his potentially underlying love for Mimi. He said to leave his love life out of it. Typical. Then after a moment, he apologized, and said a lot of his frustration is from the fact that things in his dating life aren’t going that well, that yes, he still likes Mimi, but it’s not progressing the way he wants to, and he’s leaning towards giving up on her. I told him to be patient, she’ll come around.

The problem with Travis, is that he so used to guys girls falling all over themselves for him and she doesn’t do that. He needs that, I really think he does, –to wait.

Well, even sadder is we agreed to amicably part ways. He is an amazing person, and he’s told me countless times that I am one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met–on the inside and out. But it is really better this way. We both agreed to change our passwords, which we had exchanged eons ago to establish, or reestablish “trust” which we had both violated, so no more of that. We had both picked 2 accounts so I chose Facebook and Gmail and he chose Facebook and MySpace.

We are truly good people at the core, both of us, but we can’t behave ourselves when were around each other, not even over the phone. He said I am still like kryptonite to him. But I’m tired of being guilt-ridden when the air clears.

I knew it was wrong going over there all those nights but I couldn’t say no to him, I couldn’t not pick up the phone. He would rationalize it saying “it’s really not that bad,” or “come on, I want to please you,” and I was weak. I went anyway, I answered the phone anyway.

Moving has certainly helped me morally. I don’t know if it has him or if he’s found a replacement booty-call. For his sake I hope he hasn’t, not because it would be a replacement but because it is not spiritually productive. We both want to get married and I don’t think either of us is anywhere near that if we continue to act immorally w/each other. I am mortified that my phone was stolen. It had a hugely scandalous text message from him (10 pgs!) that he sent last week. It would make a steamy romance novel sound like a script from a G-rated Disney movie. I also had 1 or 2 recorded conversations that were equally as scandalous. I never did figure out how to play those back for him. Well they’re gone now and we won’t be making more. Well, actually I wouldn’t bet on it entirely, one of us will crack and call the other. It’s crazy, but what can you do?

Wherever my phone is now, I just hope text messages and conversations are never discovered. Yikes. It’s certainly not Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton level scandal, there’s no videos but it would be embarrassing nonetheless.

I am honestly relieved about the whole thing. The “just friends” had many complicated “benefits.” I’m not seeing anyone per se, but somehow I feel like it’s still isn’t fair to any of my current prospects. And Travis said he still certain he wants to marry Mimi, although they’re not yet dating. It’s not fair to her either, in my opinion. We hadn’t talked about her in so long, I didn’t realize he was still in pursuit. I wouldn’t dare lecture him over it though. The first thing that almost popped out of my mouth was, “then why the hell are we still messing around if that’s the case?!?” But I kept it shut. For two reason[s.] 1: it would be like the pot calling the kettle black (as I’ve had my eyon eye on some wonderful’s myself. 2. I honestly don’t think Travis can be monogamous. I’m certain he wasn’t w/ me, although I don’t dwell on it anymore, but my certainty was further solidified when his pattern of behavior continued with his next girlfriend, Lisa Andrews. When he finally admitted that they had been dating, I felt so guilty. I almost wanted to tell her, it seemed only fair, but by then had already broken up and he had moved on to Mimi. Besides, not only would telling her destroy our friendship (mine and his), but it would cause a lot of unnecessary drama and pain. And just because Travis acted like a schmuck when it came to how he treated his previous girlfriends, doesn’t mean he’s capable of learning how to be better. It’s just that I’ve yet to see evidence of it. But perhaps it will be different w/ Mimi. One things for sure, I wouldn’t want to be the “other girl” in that relationship, I couldn’t handle the guilt. And these things don’t necessarily discount all of his other amazing qualities. He’s done more for me than I could ever cout count. He’s helped me in every area of my life. I’m indebted to him for all of the wonderful things that his done. He’s just so dang hot and cold. Bi-polar even, it would seem. But I have a gazillion memories that we’ve created that I will always value, just like the ones w/ Bobby, Matt, and Darryl. All unique. All special, all priceless.

Anyway, one thing I do know is it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m saddened and, yes, but it feels like a conclusion, like closure. The final chapter was finally written, and the ending was bittersweet. He said on some level, we will always be friends, but we both agreed that it’s better this way. It’s true. It is very much in alignment with the e-mail I sent him a few days ago. He’ll be so much better off this way spiritually and emotionally. And I’ll start dating for real again soon. Not this casual fill-in-your-Friday-night stuff. I won’t miss his teasing or his bi-polar tendencies to snap and yell and say things he ends up regretting, but I will miss his sense of humor. We’ll still have his car to take care of, but he’ll keep me posted on any new developments. He said if all else fails, then we’ll just scrap it but I would…END

HausFrau Speaks-Natural Life

Hello everyone!  Sorry to bombard your inbox!

This is the rest of David.Lohr article on Huffington Post about what life will be like at Perryville, if Arias receives "Natural Life" not the death penalty.

If this blog is interesting or of value to you, will you please tell your friends?  If you've got something in your mind, I welcome "Guest Bloggers", so please just let me know!  As always, thank you for your support and love!  I'll try my best to find my funny bone soon...I'm just not able to find much "funny" about the wholesale slaughter of a man who wasn't a saint, just a man.  I don't know about yall...but no one has ever given me or mine a car...and said "pay whatever you can, when you can"!  Travis Alexander's main fault was he didn't tell Arias to "go get a life"!

Natural Life

If Arias receives a sentence of natural life -- life without parole, that is -- she'll enjoy better living conditions, though not right away.

"If someone comes in with a [natural] life or 25-to-life sentence, they would start at max custody for the first couple years, so they would initially be in the same situation as someone on death row," Bill Lamoreaux, the public information officer for the Arizona Department of Corrections, told HuffPost.

So, for the first few years behind bars, Arias would face the same treatment as someone on death row, albeit in a different area of the prison. Time spent in maximum custody would depend on a number of factors, including her behavior.

In all probability, Arias would be moved to the less-restrictive "close custody" within two years, and to medium custody within five years of that, Toersbijns said. Given the nature of her crime, medium custody is the lowest classification Arias can earn. Compared to life on death row, medium custody comes with benefits.

"She'll be able to do time in general population, in a dormitory setting and could foreseeably get a good job," Toersbijns said. "Her notoriety and the money people keep putting on her books would also make her influential over other inmates."

There is much more freedom in medium custody and visitations are not restricted to behind glass. Physical contact is, of course, limited, but not altogether banned.

"She is already adjusted to the Joe Arpaio jail, so she won't suffer much [in medium security]," Toersbijns said. "She could basically make a new life for herself behind bars."

Life With The Possibility Of Release Eligibility After 25 Years

The best-case scenario for Arias -- and the least plausible outcome, according to Toersbijns and Hamm -- is life with the possibility of release eligibility after 25 years.

With that sentence, all the restrictions of a natural life sentence apply, but there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. However, just what that light means is yet to be seen.

"No one knows in Arizona what it means to say life with possibility of release eligibility after 25 years," Hamm said. 

"That law went into effect in 1994, so we haven't had the first prisoner come up on that 25-year mark yet, and they won’t until 2019," Hamm continued. "So will it mean parole eligibility? We don't know because parole was eliminated under the 1994 code. Some officials believe it means the inmate can apply for a reduced sentence, but no one knows how it will be handled."

Could Notoriety Be Arias' Downfall?

If Arias does escape death, there is a possibility that she could be forced to remain in maximum-security housing. 

"She could theoretically be given a classification override by the department that would keep her in a higher-level facility, simply because of the notoriety of the case," Hamm said. "I don't know that they apply that often, but they certainly have the ability to do that."

Unlike the first trial, a deadlock this time will not buy Arias any more time. It would simply ensure she escapes death.

"The judge has to sentence her to life if they can't agree on a verdict this time," Hamm said. "The prosecution doesn't get a third bite at the apple to give her death. That's the law."

HausFrau Speaks-Death Penalty at Perryville

Many have asked me "just what Jodi Arias will be facing at Perryville a Prison if she receives the death penalty?"  The following is from The a Huffinton Post.  In the next blog, I'll be discovering "what if?" for Natural life!  Thank you for reading, and as always, I appreciate and invite your comments!

Death Penalty

If sentenced to death, Arias will basically live a twilight existence, a purgatory between this world and whatever comes next, according to Carl Toersbijns, the former deputy warden at Eyman Correctional Complex in Florence, Arizona.

"She'll basically be in solitary confinement," Toersbijns told The Huffington Post. "It's very restrictive, very secure and very isolated."

Arias would join Wendi Andriano and Shawna Forde, the two other women currently sitting on death row at Perryville State Prison in Goodyear, Arizona.

Martinez, the same prosecutor Arias faced, secured a conviction against Andriano in 2004 for the premeditated murder of her husband. Forde was convicted in 2011 for her role in a home invasion that claimed the lives of a 9-year-old girl and her father. No execution date has been set for either woman, as they are both still appealing their sentences.

While Arias would be housed in the same unit as Andriano and Forde, women on death row in Arizona live in individual 12-by-7-foot cells.

Each cell has a concrete bunk with a thin mattress, a stainless steel toilet and sink, a shelf that doubles as a desk and a small chair. Each cell also has a 6-by-30-inch window that looks out onto the prison yard and a 6-by-18-inch door-window that the guards can use to look in on the inmates.

"The cells are very bare," Toersbijns said. "The air is also restricted because it's an old ventilation system. It gets cold in the winter and hot in the summer."

Personal property allowed inside the cells is limited to hygiene items, two appliances, two books and writing materials, which must be purchased from the inmate commissary.

The only available appliances, according to Toersbijns, are a transparent television set, a fan and a radio.

Meals are provided to the inmates three times a day, Monday through Friday, and twice on the weekend. All meals are eaten inside the cell.

Time outside the cell is limited to a secure outdoor area commonly referred to by prison guards as a "dog run." Inmates are permitted to spend two hours a day, three times a week, in the dog run. They are also allowed out of their cell to shower three times a week. 

Interactions with the outside world are limited on death row. 

While death row inmates can send -- depending on their ability to purchase stamps and materials -- and receive an unlimited amount of mail, they are only allowed two 10-minute phone calls per week, made from a phone that is brought into the cell, and one two-hour visit per week.

"[Arias] would only have visits behind glass," retired Maricopa County Judge Donna Leone Hamm told HuffPost. "She would never have a contact visit and any time she is moved she would be in handcuffs, belly chains and leg irons."

There are no jobs or prison programs available for death row inmates. Other than visitation, showers and outdoor time, inmates remain in their cells, with the exception of medical or mental health treatment.

"Having worked in max custody isolation units for more than seven years, either as an administrator or officer, I believe the hardest thing I have seen prisoners cope with is the isolation," Toersbijns said. "Not being able to interact with or touch anyone is very difficult for them."

According to the Arizona Department of Corrections, the average stay for a death row inmate in the United States is 12 years. 

The last woman executed in Arizona was Eva Dugan, in 1930. In that case, a hangman’s mistake resulted in Dugan's decapitation by the noose.

The state no longer hangs death row inmates. The primary method, as of 1992, is lethal injection.

A death sentence, if that is what Arias receives, would be akin to a state of suspended animation -- the same deadening, structured routine week after week, year after year.

"It would be a miserable existence for her until the moment she takes her last breath and is put in a fiberboard coffin at the prison," Hamm said

Hausfrau Speaks-Introduction

It's impossible to consider for even a moment, sitting in a 6 x 10 cell, waiting for 12 people to decide my fate.  They alone are deciding if I deserve to live or I deserve to die.  It's inconcievable that I would ever act in ANY way, even in self defense, that I would take another person's life.  Yet, that is exactly where Jodi Arias finds herself.

Most, if not all of you, have kept abreast of the guilt phase of the trial, and the majority have been reading about the sentencing phase, so, unlike other writers, bloggers, or self-proclaimed journalists, I won't begin this article with a recap of events from the beginning.  In my not so drunken opinion, doing so only fills up the page in an attempt to impress your boss with how much space you were able to fill this week, or impress readers with how well you are informed, when, in fact, all the writer did was selectively "cut and paste" every blog post you've written since this heinous crime was committed.  While your boss may be impressed enough to sign your check this month, your readers aren't, and they actually skip the first half of whatever you've produced this week, and get down to "what's new".  My criticism is not pointed at any one person, this tactic, I suppose, is part of Journalism 101, which, by the way, I never took.  

I'm not a journalist, never wanted to be and I don't see my goal changing.  I comment on things that
interest me, I write my OPINION, which I've formulated by gathering facts.  As a former accountant,
I have discovered that FACTS, like STATISTICS, can be manipulated to indicate whatever you WANT them to!  

Before I start my rant on Jodi Arias, I want to answer YOUR first question:  "Why should I waste MY valuable time reading YOUR drivel?"  Yes, there ARE hundreds if blogs, websites, and groups that are discussing the Arias trial.  Some of them, I am sure, are very good.  some require a $5-6 monthly payment to access their information and opinion.  I do not.  There is nothing WRONG with charging access fees to a web-blog, after all, it IS their hard work and effort getting the facts to report.  But, BlogSpot is free to me, I am not a professional commentator, and, honestly, I do not need the money.  Secondly, I am not an attorney (nor do I play one on TV), I am not paid by the word, the comments or unique hits to this blog.  While there may be advertising on this page, it is there by the effort of BlogSpot, I am not compensated in any way to rant my opinion and viewpoint.

Lastly, I am just like you, dear reader.  My own personal experiences have shaped my viewpoint.  I'm just an "average American", raised with mid-western values, morals and ethics.  I am retired now, but just like you, I worked hard for what little I have, I struggled to raise my Son, and I'm proud that my son, as an adult has "a good head on his shoulders", I'm proud of the man he has become.  

As I post each blog, I welcome your comments, even differing points of view.  I will not moderate comments, with the exception of comments which demean me or others.  I do not condone the nasty, hateful comments on Twitter and other blogs, some passed off as "parody" or "satire".  It is not funny, it is not entertaining.  Not only is it unnessessary, but it is juvenile.  It is hateful. And I refuse to participate in the free-for-all!